Choose Thy Tier

Pay once. Confess forever.

Free

PILGRIM

$0
  • ✓ 1 crest forge per day
  • ✓ Up to 3 petals (3-quadrant shield)
  • ✓ AI absolution + etiquette tips
  • ✓ Pediatrician one-liner
  • ✓ Shareable link + Hall of Shame entry
  • ✗ No supporters drawn
  • ✗ No PDF locker decree
  • ✗ No custom gym logo
One-time

LOCKER KNIGHT

$1.99 forever
  • ✓ Unlimited daily forges
  • ✓ Up to 9 petals (9-quadrant mega-crest)
  • ✓ SUPPORTERS: trainer + sleepy pediatrician
  • ✓ Custom gym logo as central charge
  • ✓ Printable 8×10 PDF locker decree
  • ✓ Full saved hall-of-shame gallery
  • ✓ Gold-leaf rough-ink accents

Faux-Medieval FAQ

Wherefore $1.99?
Because $2 felt presumptuous and $1 felt thin. The pediatrician set the price between yawns.
What if I am vegan?
The petals are already vegan. The wax seal is not. We apologize for the bee.
Doth this auto-renew?
Nay. One payment. Forever access. The pediatrician hath no time for subscription billing.
May I confess for a friend?
Thou mayest, but the AI will see through thee. It always does.
Why dost the pediatrician sound so tired?
The wellness-app database collapsed at 3am. She hath been working since. Send caffeine.
ðŸ›Ąïļ Money-back if the pediatrician falls fully asleep mid-absolution.